Couples therapy assumes you're both trying to fix the same thing. Discernment coaching doesn't assume that. It's for when one of you isn't sure you want to try — a short, structured process (usually one to five sessions) to help you both get clarity on what's actually happened in your relationship, and what you each want to do about it. The goal isn't to save the relationship. It's to help you find out if it's worth trying to.

No. I'm not on the side of the staying together, and I'm not on the side of leaving it. If you're leaning toward breaking up, my job isn't to change your mind — it's to make sure you're leaving with clarity instead of exhaustion, so whatever you decide next, you're not still wondering "what if."

Typically one to five. The first is longer — around two hours — and gives us a real picture of where you both stand. From there, it's usually one to four more sessions before you have enough clarity to choose a direction. Each subsequent session is 1.5-2 hours long.

That's allowed. You each leave with more clarity about your own position, even if you don't leave with the same one. Sometimes that clarity is the thing that lets you make a decision on your own, afterward — you don't have to agree with each other for the process to have worked.

No — and I'd stop you if I noticed myself starting to. My job is to help each of you understand your own part in where things are, not to decide who's right. That said, neutral doesn't mean passive: I will be direct with both of you about patterns I see, even when that's uncomfortable to hear.

One of three paths: you decide to stay as things are, you move toward separating, or you commit to a focused period of real effort — usually around six months — to see what's possible when you're both actually in it. I can help you find the right next step either way, whether that's dyadic work, individual support, or referrals for separation.

No. Discernment coaching isn't a diagnosis-based service, so insurance doesn't apply the way it might for individual therapy.

This is also coaching work, so I don’t do any clinical interventions or trauma based work. This is trauma informed work though.

It's one of the more common reasons people arrive here, so no — it doesn't disqualify you. It may mean a few more sessions than usual. What I do watch for is coercion or safety concerns; if either of you feels pressured to participate, that changes what kind of support is appropriate.

I see people living anywhere across the globe. This is not counseling so I am not bound by any state lines.

Yes, of course! I can work with siblings, friends, business partners, co-workers, co-parents, neighbors, cousins, family members.

I can also see dyads who are romantically involved but not married too.

The caveat for all these dyads is that there is a foundation of physical and emotional safety. That there is no threat of immediate danger.

Schedule an initial consult with me via the tidy cal link so I can get a sense of whether we're a good fit. If we are, I'll send you a link to complete your intake paperwork — this needs to be submitted to secure your spot.

For online sessions, we'll meet on my secure platform, Zoom. You'll get a reminder email or text with the meeting link 48 hours before your appointment, and again 10 minutes before we start.

Log in a few minutes early. If you're meeting individually, use earbuds with a microphone for the best sound quality; if you're meeting as a couple, position your camera so I can see both of you. You'll land in a virtual waiting room, and I'll start the session at our scheduled time.

For discernment therapy I require 48 hours notice to cancel or reschedule. If you cancel your appointment with less then 48 hours notice you will be charged the full amount for the session. If you reschedule a session within 48 hours, you will be charged an additional $75 fee.

The right coach matters — especially when your relationship is what's on the line. I don't just see couples on the side; couples are the only work I do. Thirteen years in, I specialize in high conflict, infidelity, and the kind of relationship that's drifted from twenty small things instead of one big one — plus neurodiverse couples working through a mismatch in how you each process and communicate. I keep training in IFIO, PACT, IFS, and Somatic Experiencing because this work asks for more than good instincts.

Research backs up what I've seen firsthand: the relationship between therapist and client is often what makes the difference, more than any technique. Clients tend to describe me as direct, warm, and fully in the room with them — partly because I keep my caseload small on purpose, so I have the energy left to actually be present with you.

I'm also not neutral about one thing: I believe there's almost always a treatable path through what's breaking a relationship apart, even when it doesn't feel that way. Part of my job is putting that possibility in front of you clearly.

That said, I'm not the right fit for every couple, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. If something about our work together isn't landing, tell me — I'd rather know. And if I'm genuinely not the right relationship coach for you, I'll help you find someone who is.

This comes up a lot. If you're framing it as "we need to fix you" or bringing it up mid-argument, it's going to land as an accusation — and most people shut down when they feel blamed. It tends to go better when you frame it as something you want for the relationship, not something you're doing to them: less "you need help," more "I want us to have a space where we can actually hear each other."

If they're still hesitant, a single trial session is a low-stakes way to see if it's a fit before committing to anything longer.

One honest caveat: if your partner isn't emotionally in the relationship at all — if they're already leaning toward leaving and aren't ready to engage — traditional couples therapy usually won't get traction, because it assumes you're both working toward the same goal. In that case, Discernment Counseling is often the better starting point. It's a shorter, more structured process built specifically for figuring out whether you're both even trying to solve the same problem before you invest in therapy that assumes you already are.

A wide range. I work with cis-heterosexual and QTBIPOC+ couples, partners who are nonbinary or gender diverse, and polyamorous/kink relationships — particularly ones that are already established rather than just forming. Whatever your structure, identity, or background, you'll be met with respect, not a raised eyebrow.

I'm not a certified sex therapist, but I do work with couples on intimacy and sexual connection as part of the broader relationship picture. If what you need goes beyond that — into more specialized sex therapy territory — I'll point you to a colleague I trust.